How Have You Changed?

I don’t believe that there is anyone left that hasn’t been affected by the way of the world these days. Not exactly a picnic in the park, is it? You know, I’m like everyone else; there are days I think, as my good friend said to me the other day, “if someone would just say all this will be over by a certain date, then I think I could know what I had to plan for”. Unfortunately, life keeps us on our toes. I can’t even say the “e” word anymore without wanting to throw up. If any word in the English language has been over used this past year, it is the economy word! As hard as it’s been for some, for many, or for none of you, I believe it has been a good lesson for many of us about life. I use to not know what a gallon of milk cost. Why? Because I needed it and wasn’t’ worried about it. Now like many people, you make adjustments in your life. I know my family doesn’t go out to eat together as much as we use to. Now we get together still, but may just order pizza than go out for an expensive dinner.

I guess my biggest concern when I ask, “how have you changed”, is this. I’ve always tried to give back or pay it forward, and I still do. There are so, so many people out there these days hurting. A couple of months ago, I was getting off the freeway to go buy dog food at Petsmart. Usually at this off ramp there are people standing with signs asking for money and such. It was raining that day, and overcast and gloomy. The light turned red and I was about four cars back. There was this elderly black man standing in the rain with a simple sign that said, “please help”. There was just something about him that was different, I can’t explain it. I dug in my purse and I had a five dollar bill. As the light changed, before I even rolled the window down in my car, he began walking towards me. I stuck my hand out the window to give him the five dollar bill. He clutched my hand for a moment, that seemed much longer, and looked into my eyes and said, “bless you child”. His eyes were old, but wise and caring. As I drove off, tears began to stream down my face. I was so touched and moved by our short encounter and what it meant to be. I’ve always believed that people are brought into our lives for a reason, for however long or maybe just a brief encounter. Even now, several months later, I’m writing about this experience.

So when I ask, “how have you changed” what is different in your lives today? Are you like me that now knows the cost of milk but still knows you’ve got to help people when you can. Or have you changed for the best, beginning to know more now than ever how important it is to reach out to people! You hear it on the news all the time that the food banks are down, and other charitable groups aren’t getting the help they use to. But if we try, if we look into our hearts we can all make a difference. Just by having an extra dollar to give to someone that may be hungry, can make a huge impact on someone’s life. There is this quote I like by Eckhart Tolle that goes like this: “Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind stuff, your life is real”.

Childrens Antiques & The Circle of Life

I wrote this story below a little over three years ago, but it still rings true today!

I have an early, old, square-nailed 1800’s pine stepback cupboard filled with antique and vintage children’s toys and collectibles. I’m not quite sure how my collection began, but as the years have passed, it is one of my very favorite collections! One of the reasons I first began collecting kids toys, books, and other “little stuff” was the mere fascination that these items had held up for years and years, especially in those small, little innocent hands of children! When I think of antiques, vintage items and where they come from, who may have at one time owned these antiques, it is like this huge, heartwarming connection with the past for me. The appeal of children’s collectibles has always warmed my heart, especially since I love kids so much. When I look at an old, tattered, stuffed teddy bear, I can “see” the love that bear has been given over all these years.

When my own kids were young, I had a few of these antique treasures around, but I was young also and there were more important things to buy than antique children’s stuff, after all, “the baby needs a new pair of shoes”. I always did have a few of these antique items, though, in all three of my kid’s rooms. Family heirlooms that were passed down were my favorite things to share with my kids. As my “babies” got older, vintage books filled their shelves, along with framed prints, dolls, stuffed animals and more! And as my kids began to get older, they were taught about antiques and their importance in history and learned that these treasures could fill their rooms as long as they were handled with loving care! I think it sparked an interest in them as well, since they have all grown-up to have been bitten by the bug of collecting.

Us “antiquers” are a special group of people, really, we are! It isn’t so much about making money selling antiques and other vintages items, but more about what attracts us to these things. Most people I know that are collectors, have a soft spot in their heart for animals, kids, history, gardening, books and music. You know, kind of “soulful” things. I’m not sure how to explain it, but Country Roads is filled with these same individuals that have become dealers. They too love to talk about their treasures and finds (antiques), their kids, their pets and our customers are much the same way as well. Over the years, many of these customers have become friends and dealers as well. This past year, Country Roads has been having babies, so to speak. Yesi, one of our staff members, had a little girl, Josalyn, about eight months ago. She is beautiful! And by the time you read this article, Carol will have had her baby girl as well. And in August, yet one more person on our staff, someone very close to me, my daughter Katie is having a baby as well! All of this has reminded me about the circle of life, and how important it is. I recently had a baby shower for Carol, and so many people from Country Roads attended. A few days prior to the baby shower, one of our older dealers, Carol Shields, had lost her husband. Bud had been sick for a very long time, never quite recovering from a stroke he had several years ago. But as I sat and talked about Bud, and at the same time listened to Josalyn play and laugh, and looked at Carol’s growing stomach, I finally “got” what that circle of life meant! It includes new beginnings, new memories without ever forgetting the old memories because those will always be remembered and treasured and a part of our lives.

Antiques are a lot like that. What starts out as a baby’s toy, or a favorite book, is passed on from generation to generation and eventually becomes an antique. That toy is no longer just a “toy”; it represents life and its circle and reminds us how far it has traveled. I often think, “wow, we are living in crazy world right now” and worry about the little kids. Then I remind myself that our parents, grandparents, and great ancestors probably felt the same way. But along the way, we all had something in common. We still treasured our kid’s toys and books and passed them down to the next generation. Without that caring, without that circle of life, we all would be missing out on the real meaning of the antiques we so deeply cherish. I hope you all have a chance to visit us at Country Roads. We are so blessed to have a store full of not just antiques, but loving memories as well!

Making It Easy To "Give" Back

This is a picture of a smiling Joanie, what an awesome woman! She is councilwoman Tita Smith's mom. I wrote the story below a few months back. It is a project that is awesome, and Country Roads still collects purses for this today, thanks Joanie!

A few years ago, and I don’t remember the exact circumstances, I came across this awesome, little project that the Orange YWCA had been doing for several years. It was called, “My Sister Joanie’s Purse Project”. It was originally started by my favorite Councilwoman, Tita Smith’s mom, Joan Hoefs Smith. Basically, the concept is to collect purses that are “gently used” and fill them with stuff like personal hygiene products, or maybe a hankie or nail polish. These purses were and are distributed throughout the shelters in Orange County throughout the year, focusing mainly on Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, and Christmas. Since Christmas, this project has collected over 500 purses and put smiles on many grateful women’s faces!

As I started to write this article, I realized I didn’t know as much about My Sister Joanie’s Purse Project as I thought I did, and I wanted to learn more. So, as I seem to do a lot lately when I need help, I once again turned to Councilwoman Tita for more background on this wonderful project. Joan Hoefs Smith came to Orange in the 1920’s, went to West Orange School and then to Orange Union High School. That is when she learned not only about our Native Americans history, but also sadly learned about the poverty and deplorable conditions they lived in. Deeply concerned about this, Joan took it upon herself to make it her own personal charity to “give back”, to make a difference in the little Indian kids lives that were subjected to living in such poverty on these reservations. Joanie decided she would start collecting dolls at garage sales, wash ‘em up, refurbish them, re-do their hair and outfit each one of these gently loved dolls and box them up with a blanket and send them to the Indian reservations for Christmas gifts.

About fifty years ago, there a fellow named Danny Davey. And like Joanie, he too had the desire to make a difference in others lives. Danny was a UPS driver, but he had a heartfelt desire and passion to provide goods and gifts to our Native Americans. Thus, the Thunderbird Foundation was established. It all began that very first Christmas, when Danny decided to play Santa to all these little kids on the reservation. He loaded up a UPS truck with the dolls, gifts one Christmas and drove it to Arizona. The rest is pretty much history as his efforts grew and grew until there were many, many trucks following him to many of the Indian families every Christmas!

As this project grew and grew, somewhere along the way, Danny’s mom died. She left behind a number of handbags, personal belongings and more. Danny, being a giving man, filled those handbags with his mom’s things and trucked them right on over to the Indian women. These women were thrilled, and can you just imagine the smiles on their faces? Just the act of “giving” these specially packed purses not only made a difference in others lives, but as you can see, this is where it, being “My Sister Joanie’s Purse Project” began. Of course the Native American Indian women loved this SO much that they grew to expect these purses. Not wanting to let them down, and Danny knowing that Joanie Smith of Orange, Ca, had provided hundreds of dolls for the little Indian children all these years, Danny knew that Joanie could help him out. If she could get the purses filled, he could get them delivered

So, Joanie enlisted everyone she knew to help her out: friends, daughters, granddaughters and all of their friends as well. Purses began to pour in by the dozens! The purses had to reach Joanie by Halloween, purses that were new or gently used and filled with toiletries, hankies, pens, note cards and much more. And because these purses were going to the Native American women in Arizona where is cold, they also started collecting warm socks, scarves, gloves and other clothing items to keep the women warm. Over all those years, Joanie produced literally thousands of dolls and purses and Danny Davey and the Thunderbird Foundation, without ever hesitating, delivered these presents, gifts and more to all the delighted Native American women and children.

This project began to take on a life of its own, it became huge! So, Joanie enlisted the help of the Orange Woman’s Club to give her a hand in helping to gather dolls, purses, and more and get them ready for Danny to deliver, which he would always do without fail! The years began to turn into decades with the women in the City of Orange providing women, Native Americans that they never knew, these wonderful gifts that came from their hearts.

Sadly, Danny Davey passed away at about the same time as Joanie began to encounter health problems. It’s strange in life, the timing of things. This purse project had been so important to both Joanie and Danny, it needed to continue. So, about three years ago the Orange YWCA approached Joanie and asked her if maybe she would be interested in letting them carry on this beautiful tradition, this gracious gift of “giving” all these many years. The only difference would be that the YWCA would distribute these purses to women in need in Orange County rather than the Indian reservations. Of course Joanie was thrilled, since both herself and her awesome daughter, Councilwoman Tita Smith had been members of the YWCA for years!!

This story is about an extraordinary woman named Joanie Smith, and a gracious UPS guy named Danny Davey. They wanted to make a difference in the lives of others, so they gave of themselves. They have shown us all how to “make it easy to give back”. I hope you all will join the YWCA, or drop by Country Roads and support this project. We owe, at least that much, to Joanie and Danny!

A Valentine's Day Love Story

My dad died two years ago today, on Valentine's Day! He was miserable after my mom died a few months prior. His Alzehiemer's got really bad and thankfully hospice stepped in and helped my dad "let go". They had been married almost 60 years, pretty amazing. I wrote this story because my mom & dad had a special bond, something a lot of us are never able to have. I know I was never able to achieve that while married 22 years to my own special "Mr. Wonderful"! So, on this Valentine's day, two years later after my dad died, it warms my heart to know wherever my parents are they are happy and in love!

Grandpa, Valentine’s Day, and Barbra Streisand
“A Love Story”
My dad, better known as Grandpa, was the one that really perked my interest in antiques. He retired from Edison early, and began to pick up pieces of antique furniture and he would refinish them and my mom would do the re-upholstering on them if needed. They sold their furniture at Vet’s in Long Beach years ago, in the early days of that swap meet. It gave them some extra money to supplement their retirement and kept them busy. But like all things in life, they began to age and lost interest in the business. My dad use to have an old VW bus that he used for his antique business. My kids use to play in it, as if it were their own special playhouse on wheels. The day my dad sold the bus, I knew that part of their lives was over. And as they both were diagnosed with dementia/Alzheimer they pretty much kept to themselves the past five years, losing interest in so many things they use to love. It is a story we all know too well.

My mom died at the end of August last year, a few days after my granddaughter Riley was born. Back then we all thought she hung on until Riley was born. She had been in poor health for years. Grandpa was never quite the same after he lost my mom. I would teasingly refer to him as “the bad boy of assisted living”. He would do everything he wasn’t supposed to! I would get calls about his bad behavior but had to admire his spunk! At the end of January he escaped from assisted living. Grandpa went out to buy a can of cat food and a snickers bar at 4 in the morning! He was so angry at himself because he believed that is WHY he had to be put on the dreaded second floor, the Alzheimer unit. I’d go up and have lunch with him, and in full form as Grandpa was most of his life he would tell me he hated everyone there and they better not mess with him or he would beat the hell out of them. I got a little concerned when the guy sitting behind him started to smirk, because I really thought Grandpa “would” beat the hell out of him. That was just the way my dad was, obnoxious.

As his memory began failing, we would talk about who he remembered. Grandpa would always tell me he remembered “that baby”, Riley, his great granddaughter. He wouldn’t always remember exactly “who” her parents were but he remembered the baby nonetheless! Like all Alzheimer stories, the ending is never happy and the process reaching the end is even worse. But my dad, Grandpa, fought it the entire way, that was just him. And thankfully my sister and I were able to rescue him out of the hospital he hated, courtesy of hospice, which took him back to his room in assisted living.


As my oldest daughter Brande says, “random things always happen in our family”. It’s true, that is just the way life works for us. There is always “something” going on! Grandpa died early Valentine’s morning. Less than 24 hours after hospice brought him “home”. I think it was his Valentine gift to my mom. He just didn’t want to live anymore without her. I couldn’t image being married as long as they were, and less than six months after my mom died, I think Grandpa left to say Happy Valentine’s Day to the love of his life. He couldn’t bear a life without her anymore.

Katie, my younger daughter, was working at Country Roads that day. Country Roads is our family business in Old Towne Orange. It was Valentine’s Day, and a little sadness in the air since Grandpa had died. All the staff at the store loved hearing “Grandpa stories” as my dad was always up to something. As the day drew to an end, Barbra Streisand came into the store. Yes, she just randomly walked in the door. She briefly looked around and left. After the store closed, there was a knock on the door, Barbra was back. As she brought her purchases up to the counter and walked away for a few minutes, Katie asked Sarah, who she was working with, “should I ask her for an autograph”. We never do that at the store since we feel it is kind of tacky, and Katie hadn’t really planned on doing it. So, Sarah told Katie, “go for it”. As Barbra came back up to the counter to pay for her purchases, Katie began her request saying, “I feel like a total idiot for asking this, and you can say no, but my mom, she owns the store, absolutely LOVES you, and she is having a really crappy day. Her dad, my grandpa, died this morning”. Barbara looked at Katie and began to ask questions, “how old was your Grandpa, what did he die from?” She shared with Katie that her mom had died from the same thing, but she was 96. She was interested in what had happened. Barbra could have just scribbled her name on a piece of paper, but took the time to write, “So Sorry, Best Wishes, Barbra Streisand”. Katie gave Bab’s a Valentine’s cupcake that one of our dealers had made that day. And off Barbra went with her purchases, a cupcake and husband, James Brolin, who thanked Katie for carrying out a chair his wife had bought. Barbra was gone but the memory of her kindness will always be remembered.


Like Brande says, random stuff always happens to our family. My dad, just an ordinary guy, dies and Barbra Streisand cares, go figure. We’ll all miss Grandpa, but find peace in knowing he spent this Valentine’s Day in a better place, with his wife, and is much happier now. I love Country Roads and not because it is “my” store but because so much random stuff does really happen there!

I Have a Cement Floor!

I have a cement floor. Yes, my family room, which is a good sized room, has a cement floor! My house was built in the early 50’s, so it just one of those “regular” track homes over by Cal State Long Beach. The previous owner had put on some additions, thankfully, to increase the square footage of the house. Most of you know that houses back then were small because why would anyone need a house any bigger than 800 or 900 square feet? I remember (not actually, since I wasn’t born yet) my parents bought their first house, their only house, in 1950 in Long Beach and paid a total of $8800 for it and the included appliances! It was a two bedroom, one bath, small living room/dining room combo, kitchen (where the washer and dryer also went) and a single car garage. The house next to them was on a corner lot with a double garage and an extra bedroom and bath. It was less than $2000 more, but they just felt why would anyone need that much room? That was pretty much like the house I own now was back in the 50’s when it was originally built. You know, those crazy fifties!

Anyway, back to my cement floor. There was so much I wanted to do to my house when I first moved in. I had to figure out where to start and how to do it without a lot of cash. The house was pretty outdated with dark paneling on the walls, white shag carpet, some of the rooms had “cottage cheese” on the ceilings, and there was linoleum flooring in the kitchen (along with dark, modern cabinets) and the same flooring was in the dining room and family room as well. I couldn’t afford to have someone come in and re-do everything, so I started it myself. I’ve always said when it comes to decorating there are no rules in my opinion. Do what you love, do what makes you happy, do what makes your house become your home. So, I started. My son and I ripped out a bunch of the ugly kitchen cabinets that went to the ceiling. We replaced most of the cabinets with antique cupboards I had acquired over the years and painted the remainder of the cabinets a dark red. Since we ripped out so many cabinets, there were now holes in the kitchen ceiling. After thinking about how to fix that problem, we decided to put antique ceiling tins on the kitchen ceiling. Bryce, my son, wasn’t real happy with that job! I think out of all the jobs he has helped me with that was the one he hated the most! Next, I tackled the ugly, dark paneling. It ran through part of the kitchen, to the dining room and into my huge family room. Actually, that was a pretty easy fix. I primed all the paneling first, then painted the dining room and kitchen paneling a bright yellow, and the family room was now a bright orange. What was a dark house soon became much more light and sunny by a few inexpensive projects. I wanted to put down nice wood flooring in the kitchen and dining room but it was too expensive at the time. Bryce and I went to Lowe’s and picked out tongue and groove planks that usually go on the walls. Once he laid them down, hammered them into place and I sealed them with Thompson Water Sealer, the transformation was amazing and I found my rooms looking so much larger.

It was now time to tackle the family room. When we bought the house, half of
the family room floor was covered in old, white shag carpet and the other half in worse looking linoleum than the other rooms had. Neither Bryce nor I anticipated what a project this would be. I mean after all, it looked relatively easy. When the carpet came out, we were shocked to find more linoleum which must have originally covered the entire family room floor underneath. So, that meant we had to take up two layers of linoleum in the family room. It was like that flooring was cemented down with the strongest glue and adhesive in the world. It took days to scrape it off. Bryce’s hands were blistered from the job. I’ll spare you the details of what we went through, but thankfully the end result was that I finally had my cement floor that I wanted! After I sealed it, I stood back in amazement that we had finally finished one of the worse projects in the house but I loved the way the floor now looked.

Shortly after that, I had my daughter, Katie’s, wedding reception at the house. Some people looked at me with sympathy as in, “can’t she afford carpet”, others just didn’t get it. I would see them staring and bending down and trying to understand why anyone would want a floor like that. The down side to a cement floor is that its cold in the winter, sometimes the dog slips when she runs too fast, and when you come in from the pool you need to make sure you don’t have wet feet! But the upshot, it doesn’t matter what you spill on it as clean up is easy, it’s cool in the summer and pretty soon by granddaughter Riley will be able to ride her tricycle around inside the house without ruining the floor!

Remember, when you want to decorate or re-model, do what you love, do what you like. It’s your house, your home. There are no rules in decorating except to make yourself happy. And remember big changes can be accomplished very inexpensively with just a little elbow grease. That’s why I have a cement floor!

Antiques and The Circle of Life

I have an early, old, square-nailed 1800’s pine stepback cupboard filled with antique and vintage children’s toys and collectibles. I’m not quite sure how my collection began, but as the years have passed, it is one of my very favorite collections! One of the reasons I first began collecting kids toys, books, and other “little stuff” was the mere fascination that these items had held up for years and years, especially in those small, little innocent hands of children! When I think of antiques, vintage items and where they come from, who may have at one time owned these antiques, it is like this huge, heartwarming connection with the past for me. The appeal of children’s collectibles has always warmed my heart, especially since I love kids so much. When I look at an old, tattered, stuffed teddy bear, I can “see” the love that bear has been given over all these years.

When my own kids were young, I had a few of these antique treasures around, but I was young also and there were more important things to buy than antique children’s stuff, after all, “the baby needs a new pair of shoes”. I always did have a few of these antique items, though, in all three of my kid’s rooms. Family heirlooms that were passed down were my favorite things to share with my kids. As my “babies” got older, vintage books filled their shelves, along with framed prints, dolls, stuffed animals and more! And as my kids began to get older, they were taught about antiques and their importance in history and learned that these treasures could fill their rooms as long as they were handled with loving care! I think it sparked an interest in them as well, since they have all grown-up to have been bitten by the bug of collecting.

Us “antiquers” are a special group of people, really, we are! It isn’t so much about making money selling antiques and other vintages items, but more about what attracts us to these things. Most people I know that are collectors, have a soft spot in their heart for animals, kids, history, gardening, books and music. You know, kind of “soulful” things. I’m not sure how to explain it, but Country Roads is filled with these same individuals that have become dealers. They too love to talk about their treasures and finds (antiques), their kids, their pets and our customers are much the same way as well. Over the years, many of these customers have become friends and dealers as well. This past year, Country Roads has been having babies, so to speak. Yesi, one of our staff members, had a little girl, Josalyn, about eight months ago. She is beautiful! And by the time you read this article, Carol will have had her baby girl as well. And in August, yet one more person on our staff, someone very close to me, my daughter Katie is having a baby as well! All of this has reminded me about the circle of life, and how important it is. I recently had a baby shower for Carol, and so many people from Country Roads attended. A few days prior to the baby shower, one of our older dealers, Carol Shields, had lost her husband. Bud had been sick for a very long time, never quite recovering from a stroke he had several years ago. But as I sat and talked about Bud, and at the same time listened to Josalyn play and laugh, and looked at Carol’s growing stomach, I finally “got” what that circle of life meant! It includes new beginnings, new memories without ever forgetting the old memories because those will always be remembered and treasured and a part of our lives.

Antiques are a lot like that. What starts out as a baby’s toy, or a favorite book, is passed on from generation to generation and eventually becomes an antique. That toy is no longer just a “toy”; it represents life and its circle and reminds us how far it has traveled. I often think, “wow, we are living in crazy world right now” and worry about the little kids. Then I remind myself that our parents, grandparents, and great ancestors probably felt the same way. But along the way, we all had something in common. We still treasured our kid’s toys and books and passed them down to the next generation. Without that caring, without that circle of life, we all would be missing out on the real meaning of the antiques we so deeply cherish. I hope you all have a chance to visit us at Country Roads. We are so blessed to have a store full of not just antiques, but loving memories as well!

When a House Is a Home

I wrote the story below a couple of years ago, and even with the passage of time, this story still rings so close to my heart. . .

With the holidays around the corner, I know there is a lot of planning for out of town company, holiday parties and family dinners. Frantically, people are running around looking for the perfect crystal and table centerpieces. Unfortunately, I think many people believe that they have to have everything in their “houses” magazine perfect! But, if your house is truly a “home”, I think you find a different type of attitude. Just the other day while working at Country Roads, a customer spent almost an hour trying to decide if she wanted to buy two matching lamps. The price wasn’t her concern, but she was worried if she should have lamps that match on each of her nightstands, or should she have two different ones. She asked me, “do people do that now”. I looked at her and told her that I personally believe decorating with stuff that makes you happy is what’s important. I reminded her that in my opinion, only, there is no right or wrong when it comes to decorating if it makes you happy.

Many of us live in “houses”, but how many of us really live in “homes”? I remember when my husband and I were first married and bought our first house. As we began to paint it, as we began to fix it up and when we eventually had kids, it truly was our home. I was only able to buy antiques when I could afford them, but those antique pieces of furniture still fill my home today and are filled with such warm memories I wouldn’t trade for anything! Eventually my husband and I decided we wanted our kids in a better school district and wanted a bigger house. So, we moved and to this day that is one decision in my life I regret. We had a beautiful 4500 square foot home in a fancy neighborhood. But something was wrong, and at the time I couldn’t put my finger on it but that house was never a home, it was just house. Like a lot of us, I ended up getting a divorce and wasn’t the brightest crayon in the box when it came to divorce! The house went up for sale and it was now time for me, after almost twenty five years of marriage, to start over on my own. It really was a difficult time, but somehow, someway, I managed to pull together just enough funds for a down to buy a house of my own! And that house is my home today and I will always be grateful for my good friend and realtor at the time, Lisa Blanc, for helping me get what I wanted, a “home”!

By all means I’m not implying that you have to “own” a house for it to be your “home”. Our homes are what we make them regardless of size, location or anything else. A home is where your heart is! A home is where you create memories, it is where you surround yourself with not only your family but your friends as well. In my home we’ve all sat together and grieved over 9/11 as my friend Darcy brought a kitten over that day that has become a part of my home. I’ve had six Christmas dinners here, I’ve had a wedding reception, birthday parties, baby showers and this past year we celebrated my grandbaby Riley’s first birthday by having a pool party! For me it was the “full circle” of life. The pool party for Riley reminded me off all the pool parties I had for my own three kids as they grew-up. And just like when I had my kid’s parties, those antiques withstood the test of not only time but little hands as well!

My home now has its own memories. It’s still filled with the same antiques I’ve had over all these years. I still have that same harvest table I had in my first home. During the holidays we still have our holiday dinners on that table. The only difference is some of the people at the table are different. It’s the progression of life. My parents no longer are here to join us, but Riley now joins us. We also have an old Mission china cabinet that my parents had in their home that now sits next to my old harvest table. It keeps those holiday memories of the past with us. And so begins a holiday season which will be filled with yet more new memories as we remember the old. This is also the time of year to remember to give back, to pay it forward. When you see someone on the street corner holding a sign that says, “Homeless, Need Help”, help them, even if it is just by giving them a dollar! Reach into your heart and create a holiday memory for someone that desperately needs it. I always took my kids out Christmas Eve when they were small to “give back”. It was our part of our celebration of Christmas! Make your “house” a “home” this year. Remember it’s not about “what” you have or don’t have, or the perfect place settings or decor, it’s about the “people” you surround yourself with that make a “house” a “home”.

Family Businesses, Becoming Antiques?

I own a family business called Country Roads Antiques and Gardens. And the one thing I love about advertising in the Plaza Review is that most of its advertisers are like me, owners of their own businesses, family businesses so to speak. As time passes, and we see more and more of the “big box” stores and businesses moving into our neighborhoods, the family business is slowly becoming a thing of the past, like the antiques I sell and love. I’ve watched some of my favorite little book stores disappear to the Borders and Barnes and Nobles. And I can’t tell you how sad it was to see Dietrich’s be sold to Starbucks in Old Towne Orange. Especially when there already was a Starbucks across the “circle” on the other side of the street! The big corporations, at times, make it tough to compete. Let me tell you why those of us that have family businesses do what we do.

It is a unique opportunity to work with family. You will notice I used the word “unique” to describe this experience because working with your family is like a ride on a roller coaster. You scream, you get scared, you laugh and at the end you leave with a good feeling of accomplishment that you survived! It isn’t always easy. When I first starting building out Country Roads in November of 1992, Brande was 12, Katie was 10, and Bryce was 8. I had a customer a few weeks back that was looking at pictures of Katie’s baby, Riley, and commenting on how she remembered when Katie’s brother was chasing her through the store with a lizard years ago! These are memories that you don’t get from the big box businesses. I love Country Roads and would pretty much do anything to keep it going. In one way or another, I work my business seven days a week. It is my life, it is my family, and it is my passion.

When you do something you love, it isn’t work. That store has carried me through some of the toughest times in my life, like a best friend would. I remember back in the late 90’s when I was going through my divorce. It was Country Roads, and my passion for it and my work that helped me through it even when I had to hand over a big chunk of change to keep it. I remember when the second Country Roads store I opened in Long Beach went upside down after 9/11. It was the original Country Roads that was there for me again. The times that my son has struggled, or my parents died, or other hardships, I have always had Country Roads to turn to. It is the constant in my life, my passion and my work that kept me going!

As you know, my kids have grown up at Country Roads. At one time or another, they also have all been fired. It’s just the way it works in a family business. I will never forget one Saturday when Katie was around sixteen. She decided she would drive us to work. And looking back, I don’t even remember what she did or said, but it was enough to fire her. I was so angry and to say the words, “you’re fired” felt good for at least a couple of minutes. Katie came to a screeching halt in the store driveway barely giving me time to get out of the car. At that moment I was proud, I thought to myself, “fine, now she has no job”. And as she sped back down the street leaving me standing in the driveway I started to thinking, “yep I really let her know who’s the boss”. And then I starting thinking to myself, “look who is driving home and look who is standing alone in the driveway with no car to get home, and now will have to work harder because she just fired her own kid”. And don’t think because my kids are older now that they still don’t have their moments. A few years back when Brande was building out Johnnye Merle Gardens, named after her grandma, she had Bryce help her. It was quite the day. Brande and Bryce had an argument in the garden and he came up to the counter, not in the best mood, to get something. The next thing I knew he and Katie were arguing. And of course this is in the middle of the day with customers everywhere. Bryce stomped off to go back in the garden and I should have just let it go. But no, I went after him and I started yelling at him outside. But, an hour later we were all fine. I just remember thinking at the time that I really hoped our customers KNEW we were family, not random strangers arguing in the middle of the garden! That’s what a family business is, very full of life!

I’ve been blessed to work with the same group of people for years, my extended family. Sue Kruse has been a part of our family since the day the store opened. And her daughters Sarah and Holly are such a big part of my family. Watching Sarah and Holly grow-up has been a pleasure. They don’t yell like the Jackson’s do! Carol Castillo started working with us over ten years ago, and her sister, Yesi, started working when she was around thirteen. Pam Richardson started coming into Country Roads when she was five while her mom worked at the store, and now Pam too is a part of our Country Roads family! And Carol, Yesi, and Pam don’t yell either! These are the things, the memories, my family, that give me the passion for this business. They encourage me, they support me and they too love Country Roads like I do. That’s one of the pluses in owning a family retail business. Your staff and many of your customers are always there for you. They celebrate all the new babies we have (Riley, Arianna, and Josalyn) and know all to well that they will be the next generation at Country Roads!

I never in my wildest dreams thought I could fall so much in love with something. But I did. Country Roads is so much more than just a store. And I know that all of you that own your own family businesses must feel the same way I do. Or at least I hope you do. Even when you are having a customer flip out, or cringe when you have to deal with the City, or some other disaster has happened during the day, you still go home at night and are glad you have tomorrow to look forward to working with the family you’ve been working with for years! I hope we can all remember to continue to shop family owned businesses when we can. This is the only way we can all compete with the big box stores. My family appreciates all your support over the years and hey, at least Bryce isn’t chasing his sisters or Carol through the store anymore with lizards or spiders. I think he is waiting for Riley to start walking! Life is good.

It's THAT Time a Year Again!

Whether you are a fan of the holidays or not, they’re unavoidable! For me, when I start to see the Salvation Army folks crazily ringing their bells for donations, I know we’re knee deep into the holiday season. When I see the cartons of eggnog popping up in the refrigerator section in the grocery store, I know we’re “loosening belt buckles” for the approaching holiday season! And lastly, and I really hate to admit this, when I start playing my Christmas CD’s in the car while driving, it’s over, the holidays are definitely here!! And I also see people slowly starting to go crazy. I’ve already seen it in some of the eyes of my customers! Scary.

Have fun this year. Yes, “you”, have fun this year! Forget the perfect gifts, forget the perfect dinners, forget the perfect parties and all the perfect stuff in general. After all, we all know life itself isn’t perfect! Why not take some time to celebrate the holidays with friends and family. Make things easy on yourself this year so you don’t walk around with those crazy eyes I mentioned above. When you look in the mirror, you may not see crazy eyes, but I guarantee others do, especially those of us that work retail! This idea of “perfection” never seizes to amaze me. During the week of the horrible wild fires here in SoCal, we had a customer obsessed with purchasing the perfect pillow! I’m serious. She was obsessed with a pillow while hundreds lost their homes in Southern California. I don’t get it, I just don’t get it.

This year make a difference in your life and others. Simplify and enjoy the company of others. After all, love and friendship is a gift itself. Go out to lunch or dinner with a friend or relative and pick up the tab. Let that be your gift to them. Just think how much less stressful that could be and how much more fun. You get to enjoy someone’s company while someone else cooks and serves you food. You get to engage in conversation in a relaxed environment and there are no dirty dishes to clean, no wrapping paper or boxes to recycle. It can be that easy if you think about it. And may I suggest, a shopping trip to Country Roads before that lunch or dinner would really make your celebration all that much more special! Celebrate the New Year by simply remembering there’s another 365 days ahead filled with endless opportunity to make a difference in the world.

I know the holidays are hard for some of you, and there are many people that get depressed over the holidays. Find that positive in your life. Remember what warms your heart and makes you smile. The holidays are much like life. . . we can focus on the negative, depressing things or we can look for the positive things that are good in our lives. You know, last Christmas I had just lost my mom a few months prior and my dad had come over for Christmas dinner. He was a mess. My dad missed my mom and his Alzheimer’s was really taking his mind over. When he left, he almost completely fell off my front porch but thankfully we caught him. He passed away less than two months after that. If I only think about “that” Christmas last year, I would be sad. But instead, I think of others things. For example, one Christmas when I was in college my family went over to some friends of my dad’s, to their house for Christmas dinner. My dad wasn’t much of a drinker, a few beers here and there. That particular Christmas, his friend, who was much younger, started pouring Irish Whiskey for him and my dad. Well, you can imagine the outcome. As my dad walked towards this family’s beautifully decorated Christmas tree in their living room that sat in front of a huge glass window in front of their house, my dad tripped. The tree, the lights, the ornaments AND my dad ended up on his friend’s front lawn! My dad got up, with Christmas lights and tinsel dangling from his body and simply said, “did I do that”? I still laugh when I think about that Christmas. So my wish to all of you is celebrate the love and joy of the holiday season with those that mean the most to you. Life is a continuous journey and there will be some bumps along the way. But that’s why we have helmets, right?
Happy Holidays to You All!

Mr. Moore

I wrote this on February 15th, 2007. My dad had died on Valentine's day, less than six months after my mom. I couldn't believe I had to go through this again. Life always seems to work this way, but once again, we had to push my dad's funeral to the following week because it was Old Towne Orange's "Annual Antique Faire" and we all had to work. I also couldn't believe I was talking my now 5/12 month old Riley to yet another funeral! Thanks Mr.Moore! (he would laugh at that comment)

That was my dad. Usually the introduction of “this is Mr. Moore” would come up when he was having a run in with someone or was pissed off about something. Honestly, Mr. Moore could be the most obnoxious man on the face of this earth! He was an interesting guy and even up until the end he never ceased to amaze me. At 86, he managed to escape from Assisted Living to walk blocks to a liquor store to buy a can of cat food and a Snickers bar. Least us not forget, he had about 150 cans of cat food in his room! And when he finally had to go to the dreaded 2nd floor, the Alzheimer’s unit, he was in full form. I remember the day about a month ago having lunch with him and the other patients. He was mad and would look around at everyone and tell me how he hated everybody there. I would politely remind him that he was being rude and how would he feel if someone said that about him. Always quick with a response, “I don’t give a damn, I hate them all”. As lunch arrived, my dad reminded me that he could “beat the hell out of everyone, he could take them all so they better not mess with him”. When the old guy sitting behind him smirked, I was hoping my dad didn’t hear him because I was REALLY afraid he WOULD beat the hell out of him!!

My dad could fix anything. He would think about it and find a way to make it work. I remember when I was in college over in Fullerton. I had a VW bug and the clutch went out. So, out drives my dad, looks at the engine and ties a string to the broken piece in the engine and runs the string through the window so you could shift with the string instead of the clutch. I married a person that wasn’t too handy at fixing stuff. My dad put together swing sets, bikes and did a lot of home repair. Dave hated and probably still does, spiders! The thought of going under the house was terrifying to him, although it was hysterical to my dad and me! My dad found great humor in making fun of Dave, but he really loved him. Right before my dad died, he was talking a lot about Dave. He said he felt sorry for him because no one ever taught Dave how to do “stuff”. He was telling me over and over how Dave was like a son to him. I know when Dave and I divorced it was hard for my dad to accept and I think he still kind of missed Dave.

My dad found great joy in his grandkids: Brande, Katie and Bryce. You can imagine how thrilled he was when I had a boy! We named him Bryce Patrick, after my dad. My dad had retired when we had grandkids. And in the early years he really enjoyed them. He would play with them all and let Brande and Katie take turns sitting in his lap while he drove his VW bus, yikes! He was always excited to let Bryce build stuff. I remember the day we were moving him to Assisted Living. We all drove back to the house for a second load of furniture. Bryce and Justine were a little late getting back and when they finally got back to the house, Bryce had a bag from the Von’s pharmacy. He told me that Grandpa told him to go pick up the pain pills, bring them back to him, and whatever Bryce did, DO NOT TELL YOUR MOM! My dad also loved pain pills.

The last couple of years have been a challenge. My dad and I spent a lot of time arguing and yelling. The man made me ABSOLUTELY insane. Even when I knew it was the dementia/Alzheimer’s, it was still really hard. But many times during those arguments I was able to end it with, “I love you”. I know he heard me, he just could never say those words back to me, which I accepted because that just was the way he was. The one thing that made him smile, the one conversation that always warmed his heart was when we would talk about Riley. He would tell me, “I remember that baby”. He couldn’t always remember “whose” baby Riley was, but he was happy none the less. I also think he is happy now that I was able to tell his “big ass doctor” that there was a reason when he was in ICU that he kicked his feet and legs. He was pissed off and didn’t want to live his life that way. In the end, that was his way of being Mr. Moore, mad as hell! And I KNOW he is proud of my sister and me for helping him get out of the hospital so he could die peacefully and be with my mom. She was his life, his reason for living, for getting up each day. As I said before, my dad could fix almost anything. He just couldn’t fix his own broken heart.

My dad, Mr. Moore, was such a huge part of my life, for the good and the bad. There will be no more phone calls, “Susan, this is Dad and I have NO cat food”, even if he really did have 150 cans. It is still weird for me to check my answering machine and have no messages from my dad. I know though that Grandpa is happy now, he’s with Grandma. And you know, he is probably watching us all right now and saying,
“WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST SITTING THERE LIKE A BUNCH OF DUMMIES”
That was my dad, Mr. Moore. I’ll miss you!

Things I Never Told You I Was Sorry For!

My mom died on August 29th, 2006 a few days after Riley was born. Because my whole family works at Country Roads we had to plan her funeral around "the store". It was the International Street Fair week-end, so I had not only had to write something to be read at her funeral in the middle of everything else going on in my life, but I had to work that whole three day week-end. And then have her funeral. I think I gain strength in my own personal life when I'm conforted and faced with tough situations. My mom always taught me that I could always do "what I had to do". She was right!

THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY FOR!
September 1, 2006

Well Mom. . . I guess it is a little too late to tell you a bunch of stuff I’m really sorry about. So, as much as you would hate this, I’m going to have this guy named Ty, who is called a Celebrant (I don’t know what that means either), read you my list of my apologies. I know you already hate us all standing here over your coffin, so why not finish the morning off with apologies, right? Here goes:

*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID AND DREW A HOUSE ON MY BEDROOM WINDOW SCREEN AND BLAMED TERI, AND THEN INCRIMINATED MYSELF BY SAYING, “TERI CAN’T DRAW A HOUSE THAT GOOD”. I CAN STILL DRAW A BETTER HOUSE THAN TERI

*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARDEN AND PROJECTILE VOMITED PEAS ALL OVER THE DINNER TABLE. I TOLD YOU PEAS WERE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP

*I’M SORRY I GOT KICKED OUT OF BLUE BIRDS IN THE FIRST GRADE. I DON’T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHAT I DID, BUT I TOLD YOU I THOUGHT THOSE HATS WE HAD TO WEAR WERE STUPID

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN SECOND GRADE AND I BROKE YOUR FOOT. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHASE ME WITH THE BELT BECAUSE I COULD RUN FASTER THAN YOU. I COULD RUN FASTER UNTIL I DECIDED TO STOP AND KICK YOU

*I’M SORRY FOR PRETENDING I HAD BAD CHEST PAINS IN THE THIRD GRADE AND MISSING SO MUCH SCHOOL. I NEVER HAD CHEST PAINS I JUST HATED YOU MAKING ME PLAY THE ACCORDIAN, THE TEACHER WAS GROSS AND HER BREATH SMELLED LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. I ALSO HATED MY THIRD GRADE TEACHER, MRS. GREGORY AS WELL. SHE WAS MEAN

*I’M SORRY ABOUT WHEN I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE AND YOU WERE SHOPPING WITH IRENE AND HAD TO COME GET ME AT THE NURSES OFFICE AT SCHOOL. I LIED WHEN I SAID SOME OTHER KID THREW UP IN THE CAFETERIA LINE, IT REALLY WAS ME. I ALSO THREW UP ON MY CAFETERIA TRAY. I TOLD YOU I HATED EATING IN THE “CAF”

*I’M SORRY THAT I ALMOST MADE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR WHEN I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE BECAUSE ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE SCREAMING IN THE BACK SEAT ON THE WAY TO PLAIDS & PETTICOATS. I TOLD YOU THAT MY SLIP WAS ITCHY AND I HATED TO SQUARE DANCE

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE AND WHILE WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL, I THREW SHERRY DALHSTROMS SWEATER IN A TRASH CAN AND IRENE YELLED AT YOU. I TOLD YOU SHERRY WAS A TATTLE-TAIL

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL IN SEVENTH GRADE AND SLIPPED AND FELL IN DOG DIAREAHHA AND RUINED MY WHITE SKIRT. THAT WAS GROSS AND I TOLD YOU I NEVER LIKED THAT SKIRT ANYWAY

*I’M SORRY I GOT MY LONG HAIR ON YOUR COUCH IN EIGHTH GRADE AND DAD MADE YOU TAKE ME TO GET MY HAIR CUT SHORT AND GET A WORLD FAMOUS PERMENENT THAT LOOKED STUPID AND I SLAMMED MY BEDROOM DOOR FOR DAYS. I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT A STINKING PERMENENT

*I’M SORRY FOR BREAKING THE IRONING BOARD IN NINTH GRADE. I REALLY WANTED TO LEARN TO SURF AND TOLD YOU I NEEDED A REAL SURFBOARD, NOT AN IRONING BOARD, TO PRACTICE MY PADDLING SKILLS ON

*I’M SORRY ABOUT BEING IN TENTH GRADE AND COLORING “RAGS”, YOUR POODLE’S HAIR WITH MAGIC MARKERS. I ONLY DID THE TOP OF HIS HEAD BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT IT MADE THAT OLD DOG LOOK MORE COOL, AND IT DID

*I’M SORRY FOR A LIFE TIME OF JUMPING OUT FROM BEHIND DOORS AND SCARING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF TERI. I TOLD YOU IT WAS FUNNY WAS WHY I KEPT DOING IT. I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY TERI DIDN’T THINK IT WAS FUNNY


*I’M SORRY I BROKE THE CUTE LITTLE RENAULT CAR YOU AND DAD BOUGHT ME. I JUST WANTED TO GO FOR A DRIVE BY THE BEACH WITH MY FRIENDS. DAD TOLD ME THAT THERE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SO MANY FAT GIRLS IN THE CAR

*I’M SORRY FOR RUINING TERI’S PRAYER GROUP BY PLAYING BOB DYLAN’S “I AIN’T GONNA WORK ON MAGGIES FARM” OVER, AND OVER AGAIN. I KNEW YOU HATED THAT SONG, AND I KNEW IT WOULD MAKE TERI MAD, THAT IS WHY I PLAYED IT SO MUCH

*I’M SORRY TERI SLID OFF THE ROAD AT O’NEIL PARK WHILE DRIVING HER BLUE FALCON AND HIT A TREE. I REALLY DID TELL HER TO SLOW DOWN AND I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A BAD DRIVER. OOPS, I DON’T THINK YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT ONE

*I’M SORRY ABOUT THE TIME YOU HAD A FEW TOO MANY BEERS AT DINNER AND WHEN YOU TOOK A BITE OF YOUR TACO YOU MISSED YOUR MOUTH AND I LAUGHED AT YOU AND SAID “HAVE ANOTHER BEER” AND YOU TACKLED ME ON THE DINING ROOM FLOOR AND DAD HAD TO PULL YOU OFF OF ME AND I JUST KEPT LAUGHING. IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

*I’M SORRY ABOUT ALL THE THANKSGIVING DINNERS I LAUGHED AT YOUR TURKEYS AND CALLED THEM “TURKEY DUST”. I TOLD
YOU ALL THOSE TURKEYS WERE A LITTLE DRY. I THINK THAT IS WHY I BECAME A VEGETARIAN

*I’M SORRY MY KIDS RAN AND YELLED THROUGH YOUR HOUSE LIKE MANIACS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE. I TOLD YOU SODA AND ICE TEA AND COOKIES WAS PROBABLY TOO MUCH CAFFINE AND WOULD MAKE THEM CRAZY

*I’M SORRY MY KIDS ALWAYS SPILLED THEIR MILK ON YOUR TABLE. BUT KATIE SAYS YOU ALWAYS TOLD THEM, “SPILLED MILK AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO CRY OVER”. ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT DIDN’T HELP THE TIME YOU SLIPPED IN THE MILK

*I’M SORRY ABOUT THAT CHRISTMAS I TOLD YOU “DAVE WON’T BE JOINING US FOR DINNER”. HE REALLY HAD LEFT THE MONTH BEFORE AND WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE. I TOLD YOU HE WAS NEVER MUCH FUN

*AND THE THING I’M THE MOST SORRY ABOUT NOW IS THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET TO HEAR BABY RILEY SAY, “I LOVE YOU GREAT GRANDMA”. BUT, I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT.

We’ll miss you mom, grandma, and great-grandma!