My mom died on August 29th, 2006 a few days after Riley was born. Because my whole family works at Country Roads we had to plan her funeral around "the store". It was the International Street Fair week-end, so I had not only had to write something to be read at her funeral in the middle of everything else going on in my life, but I had to work that whole three day week-end. And then have her funeral. I think I gain strength in my own personal life when I'm conforted and faced with tough situations. My mom always taught me that I could always do "what I had to do". She was right!
THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY FOR!
September 1, 2006
Well Mom. . . I guess it is a little too late to tell you a bunch of stuff I’m really sorry about. So, as much as you would hate this, I’m going to have this guy named Ty, who is called a Celebrant (I don’t know what that means either), read you my list of my apologies. I know you already hate us all standing here over your coffin, so why not finish the morning off with apologies, right? Here goes:
*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID AND DREW A HOUSE ON MY BEDROOM WINDOW SCREEN AND BLAMED TERI, AND THEN INCRIMINATED MYSELF BY SAYING, “TERI CAN’T DRAW A HOUSE THAT GOOD”. I CAN STILL DRAW A BETTER HOUSE THAN TERI
*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARDEN AND PROJECTILE VOMITED PEAS ALL OVER THE DINNER TABLE. I TOLD YOU PEAS WERE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP
*I’M SORRY I GOT KICKED OUT OF BLUE BIRDS IN THE FIRST GRADE. I DON’T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHAT I DID, BUT I TOLD YOU I THOUGHT THOSE HATS WE HAD TO WEAR WERE STUPID
*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN SECOND GRADE AND I BROKE YOUR FOOT. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHASE ME WITH THE BELT BECAUSE I COULD RUN FASTER THAN YOU. I COULD RUN FASTER UNTIL I DECIDED TO STOP AND KICK YOU
*I’M SORRY FOR PRETENDING I HAD BAD CHEST PAINS IN THE THIRD GRADE AND MISSING SO MUCH SCHOOL. I NEVER HAD CHEST PAINS I JUST HATED YOU MAKING ME PLAY THE ACCORDIAN, THE TEACHER WAS GROSS AND HER BREATH SMELLED LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. I ALSO HATED MY THIRD GRADE TEACHER, MRS. GREGORY AS WELL. SHE WAS MEAN
*I’M SORRY ABOUT WHEN I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE AND YOU WERE SHOPPING WITH IRENE AND HAD TO COME GET ME AT THE NURSES OFFICE AT SCHOOL. I LIED WHEN I SAID SOME OTHER KID THREW UP IN THE CAFETERIA LINE, IT REALLY WAS ME. I ALSO THREW UP ON MY CAFETERIA TRAY. I TOLD YOU I HATED EATING IN THE “CAF”
*I’M SORRY THAT I ALMOST MADE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR WHEN I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE BECAUSE ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE SCREAMING IN THE BACK SEAT ON THE WAY TO PLAIDS & PETTICOATS. I TOLD YOU THAT MY SLIP WAS ITCHY AND I HATED TO SQUARE DANCE
*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE AND WHILE WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL, I THREW SHERRY DALHSTROMS SWEATER IN A TRASH CAN AND IRENE YELLED AT YOU. I TOLD YOU SHERRY WAS A TATTLE-TAIL
*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL IN SEVENTH GRADE AND SLIPPED AND FELL IN DOG DIAREAHHA AND RUINED MY WHITE SKIRT. THAT WAS GROSS AND I TOLD YOU I NEVER LIKED THAT SKIRT ANYWAY
*I’M SORRY I GOT MY LONG HAIR ON YOUR COUCH IN EIGHTH GRADE AND DAD MADE YOU TAKE ME TO GET MY HAIR CUT SHORT AND GET A WORLD FAMOUS PERMENENT THAT LOOKED STUPID AND I SLAMMED MY BEDROOM DOOR FOR DAYS. I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT A STINKING PERMENENT
*I’M SORRY FOR BREAKING THE IRONING BOARD IN NINTH GRADE. I REALLY WANTED TO LEARN TO SURF AND TOLD YOU I NEEDED A REAL SURFBOARD, NOT AN IRONING BOARD, TO PRACTICE MY PADDLING SKILLS ON
*I’M SORRY ABOUT BEING IN TENTH GRADE AND COLORING “RAGS”, YOUR POODLE’S HAIR WITH MAGIC MARKERS. I ONLY DID THE TOP OF HIS HEAD BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT IT MADE THAT OLD DOG LOOK MORE COOL, AND IT DID
*I’M SORRY FOR A LIFE TIME OF JUMPING OUT FROM BEHIND DOORS AND SCARING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF TERI. I TOLD YOU IT WAS FUNNY WAS WHY I KEPT DOING IT. I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY TERI DIDN’T THINK IT WAS FUNNY
*I’M SORRY I BROKE THE CUTE LITTLE RENAULT CAR YOU AND DAD BOUGHT ME. I JUST WANTED TO GO FOR A DRIVE BY THE BEACH WITH MY FRIENDS. DAD TOLD ME THAT THERE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SO MANY FAT GIRLS IN THE CAR
*I’M SORRY FOR RUINING TERI’S PRAYER GROUP BY PLAYING BOB DYLAN’S “I AIN’T GONNA WORK ON MAGGIES FARM” OVER, AND OVER AGAIN. I KNEW YOU HATED THAT SONG, AND I KNEW IT WOULD MAKE TERI MAD, THAT IS WHY I PLAYED IT SO MUCH
*I’M SORRY TERI SLID OFF THE ROAD AT O’NEIL PARK WHILE DRIVING HER BLUE FALCON AND HIT A TREE. I REALLY DID TELL HER TO SLOW DOWN AND I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A BAD DRIVER. OOPS, I DON’T THINK YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT ONE
*I’M SORRY ABOUT THE TIME YOU HAD A FEW TOO MANY BEERS AT DINNER AND WHEN YOU TOOK A BITE OF YOUR TACO YOU MISSED YOUR MOUTH AND I LAUGHED AT YOU AND SAID “HAVE ANOTHER BEER” AND YOU TACKLED ME ON THE DINING ROOM FLOOR AND DAD HAD TO PULL YOU OFF OF ME AND I JUST KEPT LAUGHING. IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.
*I’M SORRY ABOUT ALL THE THANKSGIVING DINNERS I LAUGHED AT YOUR TURKEYS AND CALLED THEM “TURKEY DUST”. I TOLD
YOU ALL THOSE TURKEYS WERE A LITTLE DRY. I THINK THAT IS WHY I BECAME A VEGETARIAN
*I’M SORRY MY KIDS RAN AND YELLED THROUGH YOUR HOUSE LIKE MANIACS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE. I TOLD YOU SODA AND ICE TEA AND COOKIES WAS PROBABLY TOO MUCH CAFFINE AND WOULD MAKE THEM CRAZY
*I’M SORRY MY KIDS ALWAYS SPILLED THEIR MILK ON YOUR TABLE. BUT KATIE SAYS YOU ALWAYS TOLD THEM, “SPILLED MILK AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO CRY OVER”. ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT DIDN’T HELP THE TIME YOU SLIPPED IN THE MILK
*I’M SORRY ABOUT THAT CHRISTMAS I TOLD YOU “DAVE WON’T BE JOINING US FOR DINNER”. HE REALLY HAD LEFT THE MONTH BEFORE AND WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE. I TOLD YOU HE WAS NEVER MUCH FUN
*AND THE THING I’M THE MOST SORRY ABOUT NOW IS THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET TO HEAR BABY RILEY SAY, “I LOVE YOU GREAT GRANDMA”. BUT, I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT.
We’ll miss you mom, grandma, and great-grandma!