How Have You Changed?

I don’t believe that there is anyone left that hasn’t been affected by the way of the world these days. Not exactly a picnic in the park, is it? You know, I’m like everyone else; there are days I think, as my good friend said to me the other day, “if someone would just say all this will be over by a certain date, then I think I could know what I had to plan for”. Unfortunately, life keeps us on our toes. I can’t even say the “e” word anymore without wanting to throw up. If any word in the English language has been over used this past year, it is the economy word! As hard as it’s been for some, for many, or for none of you, I believe it has been a good lesson for many of us about life. I use to not know what a gallon of milk cost. Why? Because I needed it and wasn’t’ worried about it. Now like many people, you make adjustments in your life. I know my family doesn’t go out to eat together as much as we use to. Now we get together still, but may just order pizza than go out for an expensive dinner.

I guess my biggest concern when I ask, “how have you changed”, is this. I’ve always tried to give back or pay it forward, and I still do. There are so, so many people out there these days hurting. A couple of months ago, I was getting off the freeway to go buy dog food at Petsmart. Usually at this off ramp there are people standing with signs asking for money and such. It was raining that day, and overcast and gloomy. The light turned red and I was about four cars back. There was this elderly black man standing in the rain with a simple sign that said, “please help”. There was just something about him that was different, I can’t explain it. I dug in my purse and I had a five dollar bill. As the light changed, before I even rolled the window down in my car, he began walking towards me. I stuck my hand out the window to give him the five dollar bill. He clutched my hand for a moment, that seemed much longer, and looked into my eyes and said, “bless you child”. His eyes were old, but wise and caring. As I drove off, tears began to stream down my face. I was so touched and moved by our short encounter and what it meant to be. I’ve always believed that people are brought into our lives for a reason, for however long or maybe just a brief encounter. Even now, several months later, I’m writing about this experience.

So when I ask, “how have you changed” what is different in your lives today? Are you like me that now knows the cost of milk but still knows you’ve got to help people when you can. Or have you changed for the best, beginning to know more now than ever how important it is to reach out to people! You hear it on the news all the time that the food banks are down, and other charitable groups aren’t getting the help they use to. But if we try, if we look into our hearts we can all make a difference. Just by having an extra dollar to give to someone that may be hungry, can make a huge impact on someone’s life. There is this quote I like by Eckhart Tolle that goes like this: “Forget about your life situation and pay attention to your life. Your life situation exists in time. Your life is now. Your life situation is mind stuff, your life is real”.

Childrens Antiques & The Circle of Life

I wrote this story below a little over three years ago, but it still rings true today!

I have an early, old, square-nailed 1800’s pine stepback cupboard filled with antique and vintage children’s toys and collectibles. I’m not quite sure how my collection began, but as the years have passed, it is one of my very favorite collections! One of the reasons I first began collecting kids toys, books, and other “little stuff” was the mere fascination that these items had held up for years and years, especially in those small, little innocent hands of children! When I think of antiques, vintage items and where they come from, who may have at one time owned these antiques, it is like this huge, heartwarming connection with the past for me. The appeal of children’s collectibles has always warmed my heart, especially since I love kids so much. When I look at an old, tattered, stuffed teddy bear, I can “see” the love that bear has been given over all these years.

When my own kids were young, I had a few of these antique treasures around, but I was young also and there were more important things to buy than antique children’s stuff, after all, “the baby needs a new pair of shoes”. I always did have a few of these antique items, though, in all three of my kid’s rooms. Family heirlooms that were passed down were my favorite things to share with my kids. As my “babies” got older, vintage books filled their shelves, along with framed prints, dolls, stuffed animals and more! And as my kids began to get older, they were taught about antiques and their importance in history and learned that these treasures could fill their rooms as long as they were handled with loving care! I think it sparked an interest in them as well, since they have all grown-up to have been bitten by the bug of collecting.

Us “antiquers” are a special group of people, really, we are! It isn’t so much about making money selling antiques and other vintages items, but more about what attracts us to these things. Most people I know that are collectors, have a soft spot in their heart for animals, kids, history, gardening, books and music. You know, kind of “soulful” things. I’m not sure how to explain it, but Country Roads is filled with these same individuals that have become dealers. They too love to talk about their treasures and finds (antiques), their kids, their pets and our customers are much the same way as well. Over the years, many of these customers have become friends and dealers as well. This past year, Country Roads has been having babies, so to speak. Yesi, one of our staff members, had a little girl, Josalyn, about eight months ago. She is beautiful! And by the time you read this article, Carol will have had her baby girl as well. And in August, yet one more person on our staff, someone very close to me, my daughter Katie is having a baby as well! All of this has reminded me about the circle of life, and how important it is. I recently had a baby shower for Carol, and so many people from Country Roads attended. A few days prior to the baby shower, one of our older dealers, Carol Shields, had lost her husband. Bud had been sick for a very long time, never quite recovering from a stroke he had several years ago. But as I sat and talked about Bud, and at the same time listened to Josalyn play and laugh, and looked at Carol’s growing stomach, I finally “got” what that circle of life meant! It includes new beginnings, new memories without ever forgetting the old memories because those will always be remembered and treasured and a part of our lives.

Antiques are a lot like that. What starts out as a baby’s toy, or a favorite book, is passed on from generation to generation and eventually becomes an antique. That toy is no longer just a “toy”; it represents life and its circle and reminds us how far it has traveled. I often think, “wow, we are living in crazy world right now” and worry about the little kids. Then I remind myself that our parents, grandparents, and great ancestors probably felt the same way. But along the way, we all had something in common. We still treasured our kid’s toys and books and passed them down to the next generation. Without that caring, without that circle of life, we all would be missing out on the real meaning of the antiques we so deeply cherish. I hope you all have a chance to visit us at Country Roads. We are so blessed to have a store full of not just antiques, but loving memories as well!

Mr. Moore

I wrote this on February 15th, 2007. My dad had died on Valentine's day, less than six months after my mom. I couldn't believe I had to go through this again. Life always seems to work this way, but once again, we had to push my dad's funeral to the following week because it was Old Towne Orange's "Annual Antique Faire" and we all had to work. I also couldn't believe I was talking my now 5/12 month old Riley to yet another funeral! Thanks Mr.Moore! (he would laugh at that comment)

That was my dad. Usually the introduction of “this is Mr. Moore” would come up when he was having a run in with someone or was pissed off about something. Honestly, Mr. Moore could be the most obnoxious man on the face of this earth! He was an interesting guy and even up until the end he never ceased to amaze me. At 86, he managed to escape from Assisted Living to walk blocks to a liquor store to buy a can of cat food and a Snickers bar. Least us not forget, he had about 150 cans of cat food in his room! And when he finally had to go to the dreaded 2nd floor, the Alzheimer’s unit, he was in full form. I remember the day about a month ago having lunch with him and the other patients. He was mad and would look around at everyone and tell me how he hated everybody there. I would politely remind him that he was being rude and how would he feel if someone said that about him. Always quick with a response, “I don’t give a damn, I hate them all”. As lunch arrived, my dad reminded me that he could “beat the hell out of everyone, he could take them all so they better not mess with him”. When the old guy sitting behind him smirked, I was hoping my dad didn’t hear him because I was REALLY afraid he WOULD beat the hell out of him!!

My dad could fix anything. He would think about it and find a way to make it work. I remember when I was in college over in Fullerton. I had a VW bug and the clutch went out. So, out drives my dad, looks at the engine and ties a string to the broken piece in the engine and runs the string through the window so you could shift with the string instead of the clutch. I married a person that wasn’t too handy at fixing stuff. My dad put together swing sets, bikes and did a lot of home repair. Dave hated and probably still does, spiders! The thought of going under the house was terrifying to him, although it was hysterical to my dad and me! My dad found great humor in making fun of Dave, but he really loved him. Right before my dad died, he was talking a lot about Dave. He said he felt sorry for him because no one ever taught Dave how to do “stuff”. He was telling me over and over how Dave was like a son to him. I know when Dave and I divorced it was hard for my dad to accept and I think he still kind of missed Dave.

My dad found great joy in his grandkids: Brande, Katie and Bryce. You can imagine how thrilled he was when I had a boy! We named him Bryce Patrick, after my dad. My dad had retired when we had grandkids. And in the early years he really enjoyed them. He would play with them all and let Brande and Katie take turns sitting in his lap while he drove his VW bus, yikes! He was always excited to let Bryce build stuff. I remember the day we were moving him to Assisted Living. We all drove back to the house for a second load of furniture. Bryce and Justine were a little late getting back and when they finally got back to the house, Bryce had a bag from the Von’s pharmacy. He told me that Grandpa told him to go pick up the pain pills, bring them back to him, and whatever Bryce did, DO NOT TELL YOUR MOM! My dad also loved pain pills.

The last couple of years have been a challenge. My dad and I spent a lot of time arguing and yelling. The man made me ABSOLUTELY insane. Even when I knew it was the dementia/Alzheimer’s, it was still really hard. But many times during those arguments I was able to end it with, “I love you”. I know he heard me, he just could never say those words back to me, which I accepted because that just was the way he was. The one thing that made him smile, the one conversation that always warmed his heart was when we would talk about Riley. He would tell me, “I remember that baby”. He couldn’t always remember “whose” baby Riley was, but he was happy none the less. I also think he is happy now that I was able to tell his “big ass doctor” that there was a reason when he was in ICU that he kicked his feet and legs. He was pissed off and didn’t want to live his life that way. In the end, that was his way of being Mr. Moore, mad as hell! And I KNOW he is proud of my sister and me for helping him get out of the hospital so he could die peacefully and be with my mom. She was his life, his reason for living, for getting up each day. As I said before, my dad could fix almost anything. He just couldn’t fix his own broken heart.

My dad, Mr. Moore, was such a huge part of my life, for the good and the bad. There will be no more phone calls, “Susan, this is Dad and I have NO cat food”, even if he really did have 150 cans. It is still weird for me to check my answering machine and have no messages from my dad. I know though that Grandpa is happy now, he’s with Grandma. And you know, he is probably watching us all right now and saying,
“WHY ARE YOU ALL JUST SITTING THERE LIKE A BUNCH OF DUMMIES”
That was my dad, Mr. Moore. I’ll miss you!

Things I Never Told You I Was Sorry For!

My mom died on August 29th, 2006 a few days after Riley was born. Because my whole family works at Country Roads we had to plan her funeral around "the store". It was the International Street Fair week-end, so I had not only had to write something to be read at her funeral in the middle of everything else going on in my life, but I had to work that whole three day week-end. And then have her funeral. I think I gain strength in my own personal life when I'm conforted and faced with tough situations. My mom always taught me that I could always do "what I had to do". She was right!

THINGS I NEVER TOLD YOU I WAS SORRY FOR!
September 1, 2006

Well Mom. . . I guess it is a little too late to tell you a bunch of stuff I’m really sorry about. So, as much as you would hate this, I’m going to have this guy named Ty, who is called a Celebrant (I don’t know what that means either), read you my list of my apologies. I know you already hate us all standing here over your coffin, so why not finish the morning off with apologies, right? Here goes:

*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS A LITTLE KID AND DREW A HOUSE ON MY BEDROOM WINDOW SCREEN AND BLAMED TERI, AND THEN INCRIMINATED MYSELF BY SAYING, “TERI CAN’T DRAW A HOUSE THAT GOOD”. I CAN STILL DRAW A BETTER HOUSE THAN TERI

*I’M SORRY FOR WHEN I WAS IN KINDERGARDEN AND PROJECTILE VOMITED PEAS ALL OVER THE DINNER TABLE. I TOLD YOU PEAS WERE GOING TO MAKE ME THROW UP

*I’M SORRY I GOT KICKED OUT OF BLUE BIRDS IN THE FIRST GRADE. I DON’T EXACTLY REMEMBER WHAT I DID, BUT I TOLD YOU I THOUGHT THOSE HATS WE HAD TO WEAR WERE STUPID

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN SECOND GRADE AND I BROKE YOUR FOOT. I TOLD YOU NOT TO CHASE ME WITH THE BELT BECAUSE I COULD RUN FASTER THAN YOU. I COULD RUN FASTER UNTIL I DECIDED TO STOP AND KICK YOU

*I’M SORRY FOR PRETENDING I HAD BAD CHEST PAINS IN THE THIRD GRADE AND MISSING SO MUCH SCHOOL. I NEVER HAD CHEST PAINS I JUST HATED YOU MAKING ME PLAY THE ACCORDIAN, THE TEACHER WAS GROSS AND HER BREATH SMELLED LIKE PEANUT BUTTER. I ALSO HATED MY THIRD GRADE TEACHER, MRS. GREGORY AS WELL. SHE WAS MEAN

*I’M SORRY ABOUT WHEN I WAS IN FOURTH GRADE AND YOU WERE SHOPPING WITH IRENE AND HAD TO COME GET ME AT THE NURSES OFFICE AT SCHOOL. I LIED WHEN I SAID SOME OTHER KID THREW UP IN THE CAFETERIA LINE, IT REALLY WAS ME. I ALSO THREW UP ON MY CAFETERIA TRAY. I TOLD YOU I HATED EATING IN THE “CAF”

*I’M SORRY THAT I ALMOST MADE YOU CRASH YOUR CAR WHEN I WAS IN THE FIFTH GRADE BECAUSE ME AND MY FRIENDS WERE SCREAMING IN THE BACK SEAT ON THE WAY TO PLAIDS & PETTICOATS. I TOLD YOU THAT MY SLIP WAS ITCHY AND I HATED TO SQUARE DANCE

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS IN THE SIXTH GRADE AND WHILE WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL, I THREW SHERRY DALHSTROMS SWEATER IN A TRASH CAN AND IRENE YELLED AT YOU. I TOLD YOU SHERRY WAS A TATTLE-TAIL

*I’M SORRY WHEN I WAS COMING HOME FROM SCHOOL IN SEVENTH GRADE AND SLIPPED AND FELL IN DOG DIAREAHHA AND RUINED MY WHITE SKIRT. THAT WAS GROSS AND I TOLD YOU I NEVER LIKED THAT SKIRT ANYWAY

*I’M SORRY I GOT MY LONG HAIR ON YOUR COUCH IN EIGHTH GRADE AND DAD MADE YOU TAKE ME TO GET MY HAIR CUT SHORT AND GET A WORLD FAMOUS PERMENENT THAT LOOKED STUPID AND I SLAMMED MY BEDROOM DOOR FOR DAYS. I TOLD YOU I DIDN’T WANT A STINKING PERMENENT

*I’M SORRY FOR BREAKING THE IRONING BOARD IN NINTH GRADE. I REALLY WANTED TO LEARN TO SURF AND TOLD YOU I NEEDED A REAL SURFBOARD, NOT AN IRONING BOARD, TO PRACTICE MY PADDLING SKILLS ON

*I’M SORRY ABOUT BEING IN TENTH GRADE AND COLORING “RAGS”, YOUR POODLE’S HAIR WITH MAGIC MARKERS. I ONLY DID THE TOP OF HIS HEAD BECAUSE I TOLD YOU THAT IT MADE THAT OLD DOG LOOK MORE COOL, AND IT DID

*I’M SORRY FOR A LIFE TIME OF JUMPING OUT FROM BEHIND DOORS AND SCARING THE LIVING SHIT OUT OF TERI. I TOLD YOU IT WAS FUNNY WAS WHY I KEPT DOING IT. I STILL DON’T KNOW WHY TERI DIDN’T THINK IT WAS FUNNY


*I’M SORRY I BROKE THE CUTE LITTLE RENAULT CAR YOU AND DAD BOUGHT ME. I JUST WANTED TO GO FOR A DRIVE BY THE BEACH WITH MY FRIENDS. DAD TOLD ME THAT THERE SHOULDN’T HAVE BEEN SO MANY FAT GIRLS IN THE CAR

*I’M SORRY FOR RUINING TERI’S PRAYER GROUP BY PLAYING BOB DYLAN’S “I AIN’T GONNA WORK ON MAGGIES FARM” OVER, AND OVER AGAIN. I KNEW YOU HATED THAT SONG, AND I KNEW IT WOULD MAKE TERI MAD, THAT IS WHY I PLAYED IT SO MUCH

*I’M SORRY TERI SLID OFF THE ROAD AT O’NEIL PARK WHILE DRIVING HER BLUE FALCON AND HIT A TREE. I REALLY DID TELL HER TO SLOW DOWN AND I TOLD YOU SHE WAS A BAD DRIVER. OOPS, I DON’T THINK YOU KNEW ABOUT THAT ONE

*I’M SORRY ABOUT THE TIME YOU HAD A FEW TOO MANY BEERS AT DINNER AND WHEN YOU TOOK A BITE OF YOUR TACO YOU MISSED YOUR MOUTH AND I LAUGHED AT YOU AND SAID “HAVE ANOTHER BEER” AND YOU TACKLED ME ON THE DINING ROOM FLOOR AND DAD HAD TO PULL YOU OFF OF ME AND I JUST KEPT LAUGHING. IT WAS REALLY FUNNY.

*I’M SORRY ABOUT ALL THE THANKSGIVING DINNERS I LAUGHED AT YOUR TURKEYS AND CALLED THEM “TURKEY DUST”. I TOLD
YOU ALL THOSE TURKEYS WERE A LITTLE DRY. I THINK THAT IS WHY I BECAME A VEGETARIAN

*I’M SORRY MY KIDS RAN AND YELLED THROUGH YOUR HOUSE LIKE MANIACS WHEN THEY WERE LITTLE. I TOLD YOU SODA AND ICE TEA AND COOKIES WAS PROBABLY TOO MUCH CAFFINE AND WOULD MAKE THEM CRAZY

*I’M SORRY MY KIDS ALWAYS SPILLED THEIR MILK ON YOUR TABLE. BUT KATIE SAYS YOU ALWAYS TOLD THEM, “SPILLED MILK AIN’T NOTHIN’ TO CRY OVER”. ALTHOUGH I GUESS IT DIDN’T HELP THE TIME YOU SLIPPED IN THE MILK

*I’M SORRY ABOUT THAT CHRISTMAS I TOLD YOU “DAVE WON’T BE JOINING US FOR DINNER”. HE REALLY HAD LEFT THE MONTH BEFORE AND WE WERE GETTING A DIVORCE. I TOLD YOU HE WAS NEVER MUCH FUN

*AND THE THING I’M THE MOST SORRY ABOUT NOW IS THAT YOU WILL NEVER GET TO HEAR BABY RILEY SAY, “I LOVE YOU GREAT GRANDMA”. BUT, I KNOW YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT.

We’ll miss you mom, grandma, and great-grandma!